drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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