I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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