I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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