Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
