i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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