idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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