is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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