Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
