Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
