How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
