i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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