i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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