I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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