PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
