I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
