I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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