you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
