Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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