I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
