If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
