its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
God, I missed his penis.
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