oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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