Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
