I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
