Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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