Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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