craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
