So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize