You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
