my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
