He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is wine microwaveable?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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