at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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