Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize