New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
