I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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