i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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