you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
