awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
