Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
