So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
