I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
MIDGETS
????
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
