Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They have beer where we have blood.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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