but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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