You can't special order awesome
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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