I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
