Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
