So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
