I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
