there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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