my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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